Sebastian the Hedgehog
by Luxurien
Summary: The Adventures of Sebastian, the hedgehog who appears for a few minutes in the beginning of the first Hobbit movie. T for violence.


Sebastian the Hedgehog

The Adventures of Sebastian, the hedgehog who appears for a few minutes in the beginning of the first Hobbit movie.

Chapter 1: Sebastian defeats an Orc

Sebastian was just your average hedgehog. That is, until one day he found a carrot. This carrot would change everything, but more on that later.

The first thing you had to know about Sebastian was he wanted nothing to do with adventure. He wanted nothing to do with orcs. He especially wanted nothing to do with things that would get him killed. It was instinct after all, he wanted to survive and live a happy hedgehog life with his hedgehog girlfriend. He wanted to move into his little hole in the ground made of ticky tacky and grow up just the same as the other hedgehogs.

The first problem occurred when they began running out of food. No, no they weren't starving, the hedgehogs. No, they just didn't have enough desert. Desert for a hedgehog would be delicious vegetables or fruits, and certainly not those boring leaves they ate day in and day out.

Against his better judgement, Sebastian decided to explore. Through the forests of Greenwood. He scurried on his four tiny paws, until he was at the border leading to the outside of his home territory.

The other side honestly didn't look much different. It was just as green. It had mushroom patches growing by the trees just like his own. The sound was the same too - the sound of animals going about their business, insects crawling and birds chirping.

The trees didn't block out the sky, but Sebastian knew now was the best time to be out and about. At night all kinds of creatures came out.

Not that the day was much better, all kinds of scary animals roamed during the day too, but at night these animals were of a more cruel, dangerous kind.

Sebastian gulped, his little nose twitching to the side. This was for those delicious, juicy vegetables after all. With that final thought, he continued to scurry forward.

It wasn't so bad, the other side. It was much the same as his own side!

Sebastian found a tree and started to climb it. He could see much further from above a tree.

As he stood gazing from the top of a high branch, he thought all was lost until... From here he could see something, hidden so well that it could only be seen from the perfect angle this high up, could it be?!

It was green. It was underground. Sebastian squealed and rolled up into a ball in his excitement, his eyes closing shut as he imagined it.

Then he shoved himself off the branch and onto the heavy bark of the tree, sliding downwards thanks to gravity. He ran with speed, oblivious to all else there was until he reached the green leaves, if he wasn't mistaken these were carrot leaves.

And they would be his misfortune it seemed. Sebastian got to work right away digging and digging until he had about half the carrot out - it was a rather large carrot, all the better really. He couldn't wait to show the others!

Then he heard it. A grunting sound as vile as the dark badgers that would brutally tear little hedgehogs limb from limb and eat them like animals! It was the sound of footsteps approaching, metal armor clinking and distinct pig-like snorting.

Instinct drove in. Sebastian ran as quickly as he could to the top of a tree not far above the wild carrot, soon he was on a branch, shivering with fear, his body curling up, his tiny paws covering his eyes and the spikes on his body sharpening dangerously.

Below him a lone Orc approached the carrot and sat down on the ground, dropping firewood where he sat.

"Fuckin' Tog. Lade again. I bet without the meat. Why I outta eat him myself, save us both the trouble." The Orc let a puff of air out through his nose and began tapping his fingers.

Sebastian was sure now that he was safe. Whatever this annoying creature was, it hasn't noticed him. But he wasn't going to relax by any means.

"Iz dat a carrot?" The unnamed Orc spoke aloud as he noticed the carrot.

That was the last straw. There was only one straw really, but it didn't matter this was it. Sebastian's eyes shot open in anger and his nostrils flared. This little fricker was going to steal his carrot! His carrot!

Sebastian got up in rage and then remembered what his mother told him. Her words rang in his ears:

"Whenever you're about to do something stupid, jump up and down ten times."

Well, Sebastian knew he was about to do something stupid, far be it from him to disobey his mother. He began hopping on the base of the tree, angrily using all his force, hoping to be rid of the rage.

He was so caught up in his rage he had no idea the branch below him was breaking.

Snap. The branch broke and started falling, Sebastian clung to the branch for his dear life and cried to his mother.

The branch fell I the perfect angle - it went straight through the little crack between the Orc's helmet and chest plate. It tore into the orc's neck and slid downwards, instantly killing the unrighteous creature.

Sebastian scurried off the creature and hastily and dug up his carrot, thanking his lucky stars and dearly hoping this Tog guy wouldn't arrive.

He didn't, and Sebastian carried his victory carrot back to the hedgehog camp where proceeded to eat the whole thing in front of all the other jealous hedgehogs.

He was sick after, but it was totally worth it. 


End file.
